This week we are back with poor Gaius Valerius Catullus (see also week 203), this time at an earlier stage of his doomed passion for Clodia Metelli. Alas, it is doubtful whether she was much impressed by this most famous and eloquent of ‘carpe diem’ poems. Possibly she felt that it involved all too much arithmetic and that the demands it placed on her were a little unreasonable. After all, allow ten seconds per kiss (I assume we are talking here about a proper full on osculation, not a mere peck on the cheek), and we are looking at 10 x 3300 = 33000 seconds = 9 hours 10 minutes of solid snogging. A girl does have other things to do with her time, you know, one can hear her saying…
The translation that follows is my own, though pretty much anyone who has ever done Latin has had a go at this one, so alternative offerings shouldn’t be hard to find.
Catullus 5
Vivamus, mea Lesbia, atque amemus,
rumoresque senum severiorum
omnes unius aestimemus assis!
soles occidere et redire possunt;
nobis, cum semel occidit brevis lux,
nox est perpetua una dormienda.
da mi basia mille, deinde centum,
dein mille altera, dein secunda centum,
deinde usque altera mille, deinde centum;
dein, cum milia multa fecerimus,
conturbabimus illa, ne sciamus,
aut ne quis malus invidere possit,
cum tantum sciat esse basiorum.
Let us live, my Lesbia, and love,
And count the muttered malice of old men
As worth no more to us than a brass farthing.
Suns may set and suns may rise again;
For us, when our brief day is done, there waits
Only the sleep of one eternal night.
Give me a thousand kisses, then a hundred,
A thousand more, and then another hundred,
Then yet another thousand, then a hundred;
And then, when we have made such multitudes
We’ll mix them up, till we ourselves lose count,
That none of ill intent may do us spite
Who seek to know the number of our kisses.
David Sutton 
Brilliant! I first read this one via an extract in a Jilly Cooper novel, so it’s great to see it in full here. Great translation, and captures the tongue in cheek exasperation of the parties (no pun intended!).
Me too, but I can’t find the translation used in the Jilly Cooper- I believe it used different numbering? Something like “Give me a thousand kisses, and then a hundred more, and then another thousand, and then add five score”? It sounds better in my opinion but doesn’t add the same. Do you happen to remember which novel she included it in?
I can’t myself help, I’m afraid, since I must confess to never having read any Jilly Cooper, but perhaps Fay will see this and be able to answer.